Not just are you an evil scientist, you are smart too! That is exactly right. Imagine that Nature says that the maximum speed allowed is a million miles per hour. Nothing can travel faster than that. Then, if your spherical object has an escape velocity of a million miles per hour, no object can leave its surface.

Nature actually does have such a speed limit. Instead of being a million miles an hour, it is 186,000 miles per second! Or, 300,000 kilometres per second. This is nothing but the speed of light. Nothing in the Universe can travel faster than light. So, if light cannot escape an object's surface, no other object can.